Xanders 12 Weeks OLD

These past few weeks have flown by! I am not one for mornings or getting less than 8 hours of sleep, but Alexander is totally worth every minute of lost sleep! We are finally settling into a routine that I can count on and I am starting to get out of the house more. I have a new found appreciation for my own parents for everything they went through for me and we have only just begun….

While Xander is a lot of work each day, I do enjoy every part of it! Each morning I wake up now to a smiling baby. I get ready and them bundle him up and bring him to daycare, except for Monday’s because then he goes to his Grandma Nina’s house and Stas has to take him. He gets a day of Russian with grandma each week and 4 days of child interaction at daycare. He really seems to do well with daycare and I am happy that he has such great care providers while I am at work.

After returning to work, I tried to pump my milk 3 times a day at work and breastfeed Xander at night. However, that did not last for too long. He got really used to how fast the milk comes out of the bottle and didn’t want to take my breast anymore. It was really hard for me to give up that connection with him, but he just didn’t want my breast and would scream and scream when I tried to feed him that way. So, my impatient baby is now completely bottle fed. I tried to keep pumping and feeding him the milk in his bottle, but I gave up a week after her stopped taking my breast. It just took up way too much time, time spent away from my baby and my work. I made it 11 weeks breastfeeding, which I guess is better than nothing.

Since he has moved from breast milk to formula he spits up a lot more, but seems to be more regular in his bowl movements. We have found that good bowl movements make for a happy baby. The formula has also attributed to Xander sleeping longer through the night. The very BEST part of formula is that Stas can get up during the night and I can sleep finally! I am so blessed to have a great husband that helps out as much as he does!

New accomplishments in Xander’s development include: turning over a couple times, great head control, talking (well cooing sounds), tracking movement and sound, and sucking on his hands and batting at things. The “talking” and smiling is my favorite! We can have conversations with him – we say something, and then he says something back. One time when Stas, Xander and I were having dinner we asked Xander “what do you have to say?” And he let out a gigantic belch. It was soooooooo funny. And when he sees us laugh and smile he does the same.

Grandpa Neuburger (Pa) showed us how to roughhouse with him. It is so cute to kiss his belly, tickle him, and make fun grumbling sounds on his tummy. He laughs and smiles so big it just warms your heart in this negative 22 degrees weather! That’s right you heard me -22 degrees.

My new focus besides Xander, my husband and the house is to focus on losing this huge butt I have grown over the last year. I want to get back into dancing and get my old body back! It is so funny that when I was pregnant I was excited for every pound I gained; almost proud of it because I knew it was healthy for Xander. I think this was because I lost 15 lbs. before I gained any. Now, I just see this body and want my old one back! I have never been overweight or disliked what I have seen in the mirror in the morning; I know I just had a baby, I get it – but man – this BUTT is coming off and I am going to be able to dance hard core again!

Once it warms up I plan to take Xander on walks with Stas after dinner. Doesn’t that sound nice? We have a jogging stroller, so if I get those new running shoes I want for my B-day (hint hint – Stas!), maybe we can all go for a run in the evenings! All these plans and reality is, all I want to do these days is go home eat and sit on the couch. Hopefully my energy will come back after Xander starts to sleep more and more through the nights.

Alexander Adam Ponkin

At 40 weeks and three days my doctor decided to induce me because the tests showed that Alexander Adam was probably about 8 1/5 lbs. On my small frame she was worried that there may be complications if we waited any longer. So to the hospital we went on a Wednesday night October 22nd. They placed a pill inside me that started contractions and they told me to try and sleep. The contractions weren’t that bad, it compared to bad cramps. It was enough to keep me up the whole night – and I haven’t slept a night since.

In the morning they started me on Pictocin. The contractions got much worse, but were bearable. Stan was really great at helping me breathe and holding my hand. However, when my doctor came in to break my water, the real pain began. First she came in with something that looks like a knitting needle with a hook on the end and stuck it up me and broke my water bags. I felt a huge gush come out and then the pain started. The contractions were so terrible it felt like someone was stabbing me down there. I tried really hard to get through it with breathing, but the pain was just too much with one contraction after another with no break in-between. I think I would have passed out from the pain if I did not ask for an epidural. I was in tears and screaming for the guy to come put one in. After that I felt way better. I just felt cramping for a long time. I was able to talk with my family and eat a few popsicles. Until my nurse, who was absolutely wonderful, came in and told me that I needed oxygen. The baby’s heart rate was too low and they were worried that he wasn’t getting enough oxygen. So there I sat with oxygen dilated at a 4 and wondering how long it would be until I was even close to pushing.


However after lunch time, around one o’clock I started feeling a lot of pressure down there and the contractions even with the epidural started to get really painful again. The nurse came in and checked to see how far I was and sure enough I was at a ten. It was so natural to want to push; it made the pain go away at first. I don’t know if they turned off the medicine for the epidural or if the contractions were just that painful, but I can not explain how horrible it felt. I just wanted it to be done! I believe I shouted that over and over again, “Get it out, get it out!” and “I don’t want to do it any more!” I believe I was so loud that they could hear me down the hall.

I really didn’t feel like this guy was ever going to come out and it sure as heck didn’t feel like I was making any progress despite what everyone was telling me. Stan, my sister and my sister-in-law were all in the room cheering me on and holding my hands. Eventually they started saying, “we can see the head…we can see the head!” Stan took a break from me crushing his hand and even took a look. I knew when they finally called the doctor in that I was close. After an hour of pushing I was completely tired and I just wanted to be done!

The doctor barely got her gloves on before the head really started to come out. It was so painful pushing his big head out of my crotch because he got stuck. It only works to push when I am having a contraction, and I got him most of the way out with one big push and then the contraction stopped. He was stuck and it hurt to not push and it hurt to push. Finally the next contraction came and I decided he was coming out – no more waiting – no more pain. I pushed with everything I had in me and there was a cheer. His head finally came out, and what a relief that was! But then I had to get his shoulders out too. The doctor’s hands were inside me helping out the first shoulder than the next and PLOP – HE WAS OUT!!!!!!!!! Thank goodness! No more! My tummy fell instantly and I felt so much better. Then she put him on my chest and I could not contain myself. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, cone head and all. I never knew I could love someone so much or so quickly! I didn’t want to give him up to the nurses, I just lay their holding this perfect little baby in amazement that Stan and I could create something so beautiful.

Stan apparently cut the cord, which I didn’t see because I was too busy looking at our little man – Alexander Adam Ponkin. Born at 2:08 pm on October 23rd he ended up weighing 9 lbs. 2 oz. and was 21 inches long. That was a whole lot bigger than they predicted him to be. On top of that my sister-in-law told me that my doctor said the placenta was really large too. The doctor was down there stitching me up for a long time since I had a two degree tear. On a scale of four degrees being a complete tear all the way through to the rectum, my tear was pretty bad.

Finally, I had to let the nurses take him and look him over. But then I got him right back and we started nursing right away. Painful but awesome! It is so great to feel so connected with this little man right away. On top of everything I felt like I was high. The endorphins that your body produces after labor gave me the biggest high I have ever felt in my life. I was so giddy and laughing and all I wanted to do was hold my son and eat.

Besides having the most perfect baby in the whole entire world (I know I am a little bias) the best thing about not being pregnant is being able to eat and not throw up anymore. Of course as luck would have it, I have a very picky baby when it comes to what I am allowed to eat. If I eat dairy, tomatoes, onions, garlic, broccoli, or a few other items it makes my breast milk taste funny to him. He will not feed and if he does get some of that tainted milk it gives him a tummy ache. So, I can eat – but only certain things.

It has been six weeks since my little munchkin was born we are starting to finally settle in. It took the whole six weeks for my body to heal enough to be able to do normal tasks without pain. Last night Alexander slept for six straight hours for the first time. In comparison to what I used to think a lot of sleep was this wasn’t much – but it sure felt like a lot after not sleeping for a month straight. Alexander weighs over 12 lbs now and has started to interact with me more. He just started to smile really big and “talk” to me. It is so cute to have a “conversation” with him and see him laugh and coo. He seems very advanced for his age! He has great head control, can stand while supported and he looks like he is 4 months old. It is amazing how quickly he has changed just in the last 6 weeks. He used to squeak when he needed something – but that has gone away and he is no longer my little squeaker. But as quickly as some behaviors fade away new behaviors begin. Each and every day with him is excitingly wonderful.


I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! The delivery all seems like a dream looking back now. All of the pain of the pregnancy, delivery and recovery was totally worth it for our perfect little man. This has been the best 6 weeks of my life and each day brings new surprises. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family!

+40 Weeks

Tonight I go into the hospital around 9pm to get induced. The doctor thinks the baby is over 8 pounds and wants me to get him out. I am a little sad that it won’t happen naturally, but I am excited to be done. They will insert a pill down there around 9:30pm and hope that it starts labor. If not, they will insert another pill about 4 hours later to see if that works. If by 6am there is not enough progress my doctor will break my water and give me Pitocin.

I am not looking forward to all of the pain, so I might just wimp out and get an epidural. It all depends on just how horrible everything is, from what I’ve heard Pitocin is more painful than normal. I am looking forward to holding our baby in my arms! I need to keep telling myself this because I am really freaked out. Stan is super excited, but he doesn’t have to push Alexander out through his crotch!

We also have moved into our home. We are sort of unpacked – enough to where it is livable with a newborn. I can’t wait to see my little man! Photos soon….

38 weeks

This photo is from last Friday. Can't you see how much I just love doing the dishes?

I have moved to my parent’s house this week for refuge of screaming kids. Chad’s family is in town this week for his wedding on Friday. I would normally be able to probably endure the screaming and noise, however, I just am way too crabby, fat, and sleep deprived to handle it. It is wonderful staying at my parent’s house! I miss Stan a lot but I love not having to cook or do dishes.

The doctor’s appointment yesterday yielded no progress from last week. I am still at 1 cm dilation and 70% effaced. My back is just killing me lately; all I like to do is lie down and watch TV or read.

The best news is we are 100% approved on our loan. We just barely qualified for a special loan called a CDMP Loan. It basically allows us to not have mortgage insurance and only put 3% down. We got a great rate as well at 5.875%. We close next Wednesday and move in very quickly that weekend.

This weekend is a large dance weekend called Ultimate Lindy Hop Showdown (ULHS). I will be sadly watching from the sidelines as Stan and all my other friends dance to their heart’s content. It will be fun to watch the competitions this year; hopefully I will be able to find a couch to lie on that is comfortable! ;)

Just a few more days now and I will be Mama Ponkin! :)

37.5 weeks

It could be any day now. This week’s doctor appointment left me knowing that I am dilated to 1 cm and effaced 70%. In normal peoples terms this means that Alexander’s head is getting further and further down along with my body starting to open for the birth. Man do those exams hurt and I don’t look forward to them at all!

Everyday seems the same now. Get through work, possibly pack a box, and lie in bed. Not much more exciting going on than that.

I have a regular schedule for sleep now. It involves light sleeping, peeing 3-7 times a night, turning over almost 20 times a night, and trying to resist the urge to nest.

I do find I want to clean all the time, but I just don’t have the energy to do so. If I can do the dishes and make dinner after work I am proud of myself. I am really looking forward to dinner at my parent’s house tonight – just to sit and eat - the two things I do best these days.

I find that the question of when you are due to be sort of annoying by now. I am due on the 20th of October. This means I am full term already and the baby can come any day. So, due date or not – it really doesn’t matter. This baby will come when he is ready. And I am crossing my legs and fingers in hopes that he will come after we move.

36.5 Weeks

I am almost full term and still ready to be done. Being a little bit of a control freak, it drives me nuts that I don’t know when little Alexander will choose to come out. It could be tomorrow or 5 weeks from now. I have dream after dream of having him, last night’s dreams involved me having a cesarean over and over again. Probably because our baby class, last night, talked about cesareans.

My nights are pretty much sleepless, still getting up to pee at least 3 times a night – up to 6 times some nights. Alexander really loves to stretch out lately and there just isn’t enough room for him to do so. He will kick out his feet on one side and his arm or elbows on the other and just hold them out. I have to rub them for him to pull them back in.

My doctor’s appointment went well this week. I am no longer anemic, I had to cut way back on the Tums, but feel maybe a little more energy because of it. I am tired, anxious, swollen, and itchy. The doc says that all this is normal. I told her I felt like the worst pregnant lady ever – because I complain so much. She cracked me up when she told me anyone who says they love pregnancy is lying. She said that in all her years she has never had a patient who really loved being pregnant and didn’t complain. Those who say they love being pregnant are the ones who secretly complain just to their doctor. So maybe I am just more honest.

She also checked me to see how far along I am. I am still 50% effaced and dilated just a bit more than a finger tip. Man does it hurt when she checks me, I am not looking forward to that each week, or when I am in actual labor! Not a comfortable thing at all because of all the pressure Alexander’s head is applying down there.

Let’s see, what has happened that is good lately? I think I will have to say that my husband is the best I could ask for! He will wake up in the middle of the night just to massage me when I am freaking out with anxiety. He delivers pretty much anything I scream across the house for when lying in bed. He works so hard every day from work to school and to helping to make me feel comfortable. I am so proud of him, and I am lucky to have him as my husband! He will be the perfect coach for the delivery room!

Other than that, we have been trying to pack for the new house and just relax. I am looking forward to going home tonight to a nice long bath! I feel like a giant!

Big News for the Ponkin Family

We found out today that our offer for this home…

http://picasaweb.google.com/swing.da.jazzy/House02#

was excepted. That means that Alexander will have his own special room and we will have our own home to raise him in! It is a beautiful home and we are very lucky to get it so cheap right now!

So, if all goes well we will close the 15th of October, move in that following weekend, and then have the baby on Monday the 20th (my due date). I know, I know…there is no way you can schedule when Alexander will be ready to come out. But, this is if it works out just right.

I also went to the doctor today and found out a couple new things. I am anemic, which means I am low in iron. We think it is because of all the Tums I have to eat for my heartburn. When you take in so much calcium it apparently hinders the intake of iron. This means I need to eat more iron rich foods and go back to chewing gum instead of eating a bottle of Tums each day.

I am now 50% effaced and a fingertip dilated. So, the process has started. We will see when this little guy is ready to pop. I added a photo from last night…